Hello you lot.

I wanted to explain my absence from the blog to you all, in fact, I’ve been trying to do this for a while. I’ve written several blog posts that I just haven’t hit the publish button on, and if I’m honest, I probably never will.

As someone that suffers from depression, I tend to focus on the negatives, maybe more than I should. This gives me a slanted outlook on life, which isn’t necessarily healthy or productive. This, as you might imagine makes it’s way into my writing, at times. Hence why I avoid hitting the publish button, as too much negativity is good for no one, in my opinion.

I tried to work through my depression by writing, talking with trusted friends and having projects to focus on to distract me from myself. If I’m honest it wasn’t really successful. I still had that negative outlook, Wanting desperately to resolve my depression, assuming it can be resolved, I had to change my approach.

So after visiting my GP and asking them for help and advice, in addition to the usual prescriptions that GP’s hand out for such issues, (Prescriptions that I have been on for many years,and on their own, don’t seam to be working) they have now also referred me for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, (CBT).

This therapy will supposedly help me face life, with a more positive outlook. As I have not yet started it, I can not vouch for it’s successfulness. I am willing to give it a try however, as I seriously want to focus on the lighter side of life and give the darkness a break for a while.

Before starting the therapy, I had to visit a mental health assessor. He verified my thoughts of myself, as he told me, ‘after only speaking to you for 15 minutes, I can see you have a negative slant on life’. Probably not the thing a depressed person wants to hear about themselves but he was right. He also said something to me after answering a host of questions. He said ‘you have a light in your life that you hold on to’, meaning my wife and children. Hopefully, this CBT will help me shine light on the rest of my life.

He also touched on the fact that I may be suffering from anxiety that has thus far gone without being diagnosed or recognised. He thinks, and I agree with him that this is due to my visual impairment.

I’m now just waiting for my first appointment to come through as there is a waiting list. I will keep you all up to date. I promise though. Once all this mess is sorted out I will refocus on the reason for me starting this blog in the first place, GAMING! If this all goes well, I may finally be heading toward Hope and away from Despair.

If you suffer from depression, or used to suffer from it and managed to overcome it, I’d love to hear your story. Please, leave a comment below or contact me on FaceBook or Twitter. If you still suffer from depression, don’t suffer alone. If you feel you can, please, contact your GP or medical professional and make the first steps towards getting the help and support you need.

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